Saturday, January 30, 2010

he put me on a pedestal and stared without a word


This guy that I dated for a few months down in South Carolina, we broke up when I moved back to IN. And then we started dating again, on the DL. (yes I just said that.)

And then recently we decided to put our status for the world to see on FB and people were like "oh you two are back together?" Yeah, we've been back together for a while now.

So its an LDR. (Long Distance Relationship)

And it's key in an LDR to TALK to one another. It's just how it works, the only way it CAN work. So I occasionally reach out to him and talk to him and try to get him to talk to me. Sometimes it works. But the point is, he never talks to me. Ever. This is the boy who says he's in love with me, that I'm his dream girl, that I'm everything he wants in life, and he says he's too busy with school to drop me a line.

So earlier today I gave him one last chance.

"Hey, why don't you ever contact me?"

"I'm busy with school."

"Yeah. I've got a friend who's in school, is a fire-fighter, and an EMT, and we still talk, even if it's a 'hey how are you?' So. Just break up with me, because I'm sick of this."

"Fine, if that's how you feel, let's break up."

So then.

Hours later I texted him. "I don't hate you and I don't want you to hate me. Its just that in an LDR you have to talk to the person and you never did. I would reach out, and you'd respond. Sometimes."

"I don't hate you either, but you hardly reached out. But I'm not going to get into an argument over it."

Does anyone else see why he majorly sucks? Or am I just too snippy and obsessive? Because, this isn't the first time. So it's got to be a problem with me, right?

And this is why I stay single.


  1. You wouldn't have put this out here if you didn't want opinions. So here's mine.

    Since I am not some random fellow blogger and I actually KNOW you (more than you'd like to admit) I can say that if you truly cared about him and he truly cared about you, you'd be together. Obviously, you two are just meant to be friends. Distance is just an excuse ... I mean, look at me. I met Ryan when he was in Alaska and I was in South Carolina. We started dating when he moved to Virginia and I was STILL in SC, almost 8 hours away. If you are willing to work, it works. He wasn't willing. It's not meant to be. And honestly ... did you REALLY like him? Cause like ... I mean ... I dunno, just never got the vibe from you that you were head over heels, just seemed like "something to do" in a way. Not to belittle your feelings at all ... just sayin' from observation. I am sorry you guys broke up again, I hope you're ok and not sad in a corner rocking ... well, you can't help that rocking thing, but you know ;)

    I noticed in your last post you tagged it as Best Sister Evah ... that's me (YAY) but I don't know what I did hahaha ... enlighten me dah-ling.

  2. I'll tell you later lol
    Yeah I'm sad in a corner rocking. XD

  3. Get outta the corner, dry your eyes, turn on some Tragic Kingdom and dance your heart out (even though you look like a botard when you do) ... have some icecream and all that stuff. You'll be ok ... he has weird toes anyways. HAHAHA.

    Kate likes the "paper" on your background : )

  4. It's just the way men and women communicate ... or don't, Lissa. You're social and communicative. He's competitive and uncommunicative. You don't understand him. He doesn't understand you.

    As the communicator (you communicate beautifully), as the one who compared him unfavorably to your male friend, and as the one who broke up the relationship, you have the burden of reestablishing communication. Give it a week. Then call him. Tell him you're sorry. Explain that a long distance relationship isn't a relationship unless he puts aside his "strong, silent" persona and communicates with you. Tell him it's okay to talk about sports, about his day, about his courses, and about things that interest him. Tell him that what interests him is what interests you, and mean it. Then tell him that he must reciprocate, and listen to you.

    There is a whole lot I don't know, and so I may be off the mark. I note he said that "he's in love with [you], that [you're] his dream girl, [and] that [you're] everything he wants in life." As for you, I note that you're "sad in a corner, rocking."

    That makes me think I'm right on the mark.

  5. i think i am in 'ditto' with your sis. she knows you best, and since she has the best sistah evar status i'd wager her advice is very sage.

    hang in there, just cause it seems like he isn't 'the one' doesn't mean anything negative about you, it's just one of those things.

    hugs and luffs

  6. Amanda-- hah, thanks. :D

    Rider-- Thank you for your kind words, you are very close to the mark, especially for someone who didn't know the entire situation. Thank you for the communication compliment, it made me smile. ^_^

    Ser-- lulz, thank you. I agree, now.

    Everyone's been so helpful to me, I have such wonderful friends and kind strangers!

  7. Also, Amanda, I'm listening to Rasputina and The Tiny, you should check them out! No Doubt is good for tomorrow, I think.

  8. You're neither snippy nor obsessive.

    The guy is just a plain ass-hole. Seriously, if you're in a relationship the LEAST you can do is call if not perpetually be on the line with each other. ARGH. Men like this PISS ME OFF.

    Anyway, nice blog. Following you!!!

  9. No you are not snippy or obessive. He's just the right one for you. You'll find MUCH better guys in future. And I'll join the club,I'm single too.

  10. Okay, I totally agree with you. I once had a bf who wouldn't call, ever and he just lived 20 mins away. So I broke up with him. It might have been a little childish, but I was a child.

    In your case, though, communication is key. You live too far way to communicate any other way. It's a give and take. Breaking up sucks, but you'll find someone else. : )

  11. long distance relationships dont work. the fact that you keep trying more than he does probably makes him like you less cause he's obvi not into you that much...sorry, good luck though. just thot i'd be prudent.

  12. All boys suck, staying single is the only right thing.

  13. Whoa, thank you everyone else who commented! I agree, staying single is a great thing. I'm happy to report that I'm doing fine now in the looove department :D