he put me on a pedestal and stared without a word

So.

This guy that I dated for a few months down in South Carolina, we broke up when I moved back to IN. And then we started dating again, on the DL. (yes I just said that.)

And then recently we decided to put our status for the world to see on FB and people were like "oh you two are back together?" Yeah, we've been back together for a while now.

So its an LDR. (Long Distance Relationship)

And it's key in an LDR to TALK to one another. It's just how it works, the only way it CAN work. So I occasionally reach out to him and talk to him and try to get him to talk to me. Sometimes it works. But the point is, he never talks to me. Ever. This is the boy who says he's in love with me, that I'm his dream girl, that I'm everything he wants in life, and he says he's too busy with school to drop me a line.

So earlier today I gave him one last chance.

"Hey, why don't you ever contact me?"

"I'm busy with school."

"Yeah. I've got a friend who's in school, is a fire-fighter, and an EMT, and we still talk, even if it's a 'hey how are you?' So. Just break up with me, because I'm sick of this."

"Fine, if that's how you feel, let's break up."

So then.

Hours later I texted him. "I don't hate you and I don't want you to hate me. Its just that in an LDR you have to talk to the person and you never did. I would reach out, and you'd respond. Sometimes."

"I don't hate you either, but you hardly reached out. But I'm not going to get into an argument over it."

Does anyone else see why he majorly sucks? Or am I just too snippy and obsessive? Because, this isn't the first time. So it's got to be a problem with me, right?

And this is why I stay single.

This is Big

This is huge. Gargantuan.

I'm torn into so many pieces right now, but all of my pieces are racing towards the same finish line. I need help, I need people to be charitable, and I need answers, but I have it. I've got it. I can see it, I can see the buzz it creates, I can understand how it affects others. I'm both praying for a kind, wiser soul than mine to help guide me, and that no one finds out about it. But I know that this is such a good thing that I don't care how it gets created, just that it exists. So kind, wise soul, if you want to take this idea and mold it into something greater than my vision, do so. Because it's for good, and although I have realism in my scope, I love the idea of this big, huge, gargantuan blob of greatness taking form with smiles and ease and love from a community.

I know it's going to be hard and I'll have to work for it harder than I've ever worked (which isn't saying much because I was always lazy), harder than I've ever imagined I could work, but I'm going to do it. This isn't a passing fancy. This is what I was put here to do, I know it.

It's that same knowledge that leads a couple to stay a couple, they just know deep down in their core that they're meant to be together, at least for now.

I want to hear positive feedback. I want to hear people agreeing with me. I want this to come together smoothly. I want people to love it. I want people to volunteer for it. I want people to ask for it.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, especially if your children are involved. It's a sign of bravery, of strength, and it's a sign of how intelligent you really are.

I would go into detail, but that piece that's scared to death of someone jinxing it is overruling.

Just know that this is huge, and it's going to happen, despite the frowns and jeering laughs that I always hear. I'm positive on more than just that this will happen. I'm positive it will change the world.