Let's Try to Keep This Steady, Now.

Oh my goodness gracious I have not written on this in forever.

Mainly because I've become absolutely obsessed with tumblr.

But I've gotten your comments and I thank you for them!

So. What to talk about.

Oh! Well for one thing I finally got a job!!!!!!!!

It's at Culver's, which is this neat chain of burger/frozen custard joints. The food there is excellent and I am excited to be working there!!

Also on Thursday I have a job interview for Sears, so hopefully I can get both jobs fully up and running. Oh to have money and a bank account again!!

I've been reading more lately!

L. M. Montgomery makes me cry so much, especially in the later books, when we meet Walter. I don't know what it is about that name but I love it so much; every literary character named Walter I adore, and least the ones I've met so far.

I believe you meet and absorb so much more than others believe. I think you can roll around in bed with a song and confess secrets to characters in books or movies. I believe that the stars above are ethereal beings of wisdom. I don't care what the scientists say, they are, and Caspian married one.

The main point of this being that I forgot how good books are to me. And Anne Shirley is probably one of my favorite ladies ever (aside from Ms. Gaga!). I can daydream on my own and not feel silly. I can speak in the tongue of purple prose and ignore those who would look down their noses at me for it.

Screw a semblance of normality, I'll take eaves dripping with faerie dust as the echoes of childhood call across valleys.

That's another thing--I forgot how to look at things. Observing them with the right mindset is half the point of telling a successful story. And we should enjoy the nature we have left.

I need to gain self-discipline again, control the parts of my mind that affect the mishaps in my life.

Statusi specifica--stop thinking about things that would never actually help me. aka...the boy.

Love is important, but I'm not ready and there's a part of me that knows deep down that it's not going to happen.

I do want something, though. Not necessarily from him, but from someone nice. I wonder if I could have a one-night kiss. Nothing sexual, just something wonderful for me to sigh about later.

I'm going to improve my vocabulary. This tumblr-speak thing has to stop.

Sometimes I feel like I should go off the grid for a bit.

God, if I could. In a year I'll make my move, even if it's just traveling across the USA for a month. I don't want to feel so ashamed about not being so "caught up" with normal people. So I let it slack that I didn't get a permit until I was 19, so I've only had one job for 9 months a year ago. So I sucked at school and didn't go to college.

Fuck all of that. I am going to believe that there is a higher purpose for me again, and that all of my laziness is going to be for a reason, now that I'm deciding not to be lazy. That everything will end up being good and maybe even wonderful.